#‘You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah’ Review: Adam and Sunny Sandler Bring Father-Daughter Sweetness to Netflix Teen Comedy

You have to give Adam Sandler props for being a very good family man. When he wants to spend time with his wife and children, he doesn’t just take them on vacation, he makes movies with them. And sometimes both at the same time. He’s outdone himself with his latest effort for Netflix, Sammi Cohen’s You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah, based on Fiona Rosenbloom’s 2005 YA novel and featuring his daughter Sunny Sandler in the lead role, along with her older sister Sadie Sandler, her mother Jackie Sandler and her father Adam in supporting turns. It seems less a movie than a family project.

Fortunately, the rampant nepotism on display has resulted in a sweet, amusing film geared toward younger audiences, who will best relate to the main character’s personal travails as she prepares for the film’s main event. (And as they say, you don’t have to be Jewish to enjoy the movie, but it certainly won’t hurt.)

The younger of the Sandler offspring plays Stacy, who, along with BFF Lydia (Samantha Lorraine), is preparing for the day when they become an adult according to Jewish law. Of course, she’s technically already a woman; as she exasperatedly tells her father Danny (Adam Sandler) when he suggests a childish activity, “I’ve had my period for seven months now!”

“That’s a long period, sweetheart!” her father replies in the first of far too many lame jokes about the subject, with the film rivaling the recent Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret in its frequent references to menstruation. Another similarity is that, like the young girl in the Judy Blume adaptation, Stacy sends missives to God as well.

Stacy is actually less preoccupied with her upcoming bat mitzvah than her serious crush on her Hebrew school’s cutest boy, Josh (Dylan Hoffman, perfect for the role), with whom her closest contact has been when he accidentally hit her in the head with a soccer ball. Things go from bad to worse when she impulsively decides to respond to a dare and jumps into a lake in front of him and their fellow classmates, only to be humiliated when her bloody tampon rises to the surface. (Don’t say I didn’t warn you). And then, the horror, Josh winds up going out with Lydia, driving a seemingly irreparable wedge between the two friends and causing Stacy to deliver the titular edict.

The ensuing complications play out pretty much as you’d expect, with Stacy’s loving parents Bree (Idina Menzel, who previously played Sandler’s wife in the very different Uncut Gems, assumes the role here as well, with his real-life spouse Jackie playing Lydia’s mom) and Danny looking on helplessly. Eventually, Stacy uses her teenage wiles, including volunteering at the senior home where Josh’s grandmother lives and “accidentally” sending him some provocative photographs, to lure him away from Lydia — only to get in serious trouble when the two are caught making out in the temple’s bimah. (If you don’t know what that is, like I said, it helps to be Jewish).

Patriarch Sandler, most often clad in Hawaiian shirts and baggy shorts, is only a minor presence in the film, generously ceding the lion’s share of screen time to his daughter, who rises to the occasion with an appealingly funny lead performance. Sibling Sadie, as Stacy’s acerbic older sister Ronnie, is amusing as well, while Lorraine provides solid support as Stacy’s best friend. SNL’s Sarah Sherman steals every scene she’s in as a hipster rabbi who utters such words of wisdom as “That’s the way the hamantaschen crumbles,” and it’s worth the price of a streaming subscription just to hear supporting player Jackie Hoffman exclaim, “Shayna punim!”

As you might have guessed by now, the film refreshingly leans into its Jewishness in a big way, not bothering to explain every reference to “goy” viewers. (Of course, Sandler has never been shy about comically showcasing his heritage, having scored one of his biggest successes with “The Chanukah Song.”)    

As with many Sandler comedies (although this one is rather atypical), You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah features more than a few dumb, cringeworthy jokes. But thanks to its well-observed, amusing depiction of teenage girl angst and a genuine sweetness at its core, it proves thoroughly winning. And if you don’t get all verklempt at the heartwarming ending, you’ve probably never had a best friend.