#COVID test fans love getting deep nose-swabs

Here’s a sultry swab story.

Imagine going to a makeshift tent in Brooklyn — discovered through a whisper network — to stand in line so a masked professional can penetrate your face with a sterilized object. That’s already an experience one might find at, say, a kinky Berlin nightclub.

Now, it has come to light that some people genuinely derive pleasure from being deeply nasal-swabbed for the coronavirus.

“It’s kind of like when you eat something spicy, and it clears your sinuses,” 27-year-old writer Gabe Bergado told Rolling Stone of why he enjoys the interaction with his “nussy” — a mashup of “nose” plus a vulgar term for the vagina, a portmanteau for describing sexualized nostril interactions.

“I was almost mad the most recent time I got a swab because I felt like they were too gentle,” said Abby Tannenbaum, comparing the sensation of being swabbed to drinking LaCroix too fast and getting bubbles in your nose.

Rolling Stone dates the birth of “nussy” to a 2018 tweet, but the pandemic has significantly increased its use and relevance.

“Got my covid test and honestly it felt good. They did my nussy RIGHT. Might do it for fun again soon,” one fan tweeted this month.

“He said move your nose ring to the side and stuck that covid test so deep in my nussy now i’m feeling some typa way,” wrote another.

For some, the newfound “nussy” love stems significantly from the increased yearning for physical touch in this time of social distancing.

“The most action i’ve been getting is the nurse hitting my nussy during covid tests,” Bergado tweeted.

A new subgenre of autonomous sensory meridian response (ASMR) videos — wherein creators gently whisper and play with objects in an attempt to relax the viewer — have also cropped up featuring mostly young women role-playing as masked nurses administering nasal swabs and discussing the novel virus. One such video, titled “ASMR Testing You for Corona Virus,” has racked up more than 1.2 million views.

Plenty of blatantly sexual coronavirus-themed content has emerged online since the advent of the pandemic, including a proliferation of porn. Searching “coronavirus test” on the site PornHub brings up 78 pages of adult content at least tangentially relevant to COVID-19, including videos where test-sample acquisition is dependent on sex acts.