#Why Christmas gives the gift of the worst sex of the year

It’s going to be a blue Christmas — below the belt.

For those hoping to have their … erm, halls decked and trimmings hung for the holidays, don’t count on it until the clock strikes 2021, according to a nutcracking new study on female sexual behavior.

It may come as no surprise to some, but the survey of more than 500,000 women has confirmed that the stress of Christmas — on the wallet and the waistline — may leave your mate saying “mistle-NO!” in the bedroom.

Their findings, based on self-reported data via international women’s health app Clue, settles long-held theories around seasonal spikes and slumps in sexy times, showing that while most holidays result in more erotic activity among women, there is a steep dirty-deed dropoff in the three days leading up to December 25.

Alas, the one gift you’re unlikely to find under the Christmas tree: good sex.

The stress-inducing lack of leisure time — between holiday shopping, cooking and stuffing faces — would explain the stymie in the sheets, according to Dr. Kate Boyer, professor of human geography at Cardiff University.

“Christmas carries a lot of work, and expectations, with it: from organizing and wrapping presents, to making the home look different and special, to preparing special foods and perhaps doing Christmas cards,” she told the Guardian.

Boyer, who was not involved in the study, put the new report in perspective: “In most families there isn’t someone at home who can make this ‘holiday work’ their priority, so it ends up getting squeezed in around jobs and child care. It just isn’t a recipe for feeling sexy.”

For single, child-free women, study authors suggest that simply distance or a demanding family can easily put a damper on intimacy.

“There was also a very strong difference between weekend and weekdays — people have more sex on weekends,” said Columbia University’s Micaela Martinez, who took part in the research currently available to read on medRxiv, prior to peer review. “It suggests that having leisure time with your intimate partner facilitates sex.”

The 2020 bad news barrage continues: Christmas falls on a Friday this year.

However, by Saturday the 26th, temporarily frigid folks will likely be getting it on like their own sexually healthy selves again, as the survey found the highest reported day for carnal activity drops with a ball — after midnight on New Year’s Eve/Day.

The study’s authors went on to suggest their data may help inform the phenomenon of birth seasonality.

“We think these two things [fertility and seasonal sexual trends] are acting together to shape the birth seasonality that is experienced in the real world,” said Martinez.