Reel deal for the Automat

The Automat, a famous foodery of the ’60s and ’70s, might be coming back. Its prices not.

Self-service, coin-operated, no waiting, no tipping, no waiters, no reservations, a cashier made change for nickels, dimes, quarters. Menu? Forget for a wedding or bar mitzvah. We’re talking mac and cheese, Salisbury steak, baked beans, mashed potatoes, creamed spinach, soup, sandwiches, really crappy lemon meringue pie and two nickels for coffee.

Operated by Horn & Hardart, the last one — 42nd and 3rd — folded 1991. The cut-cost-op was food behind little glass doors ringed with metal. Stick coins in the slot, remove your choice, servers behind the walls kept selections refilled.

Everybody went. Those years radio’s big name was comedian Jack Benny. In the ’60s he threw a star-studded gala at one of those crappy Automats with its wooden tables, wooden chairs, paper napkins, bus your own dishes, buy with your pocket change. Cheap fast food only. Invitation only. Black tie. Guests like Audrey Hepburn, Gregory Peck, Jimmy Stewart, Veronica Lake, Gene Kelly.

I was nobody. I was only the wife of comedian Joey Adams, then president of theatrical union AGVA, American Guild of Variety Artists. I know all this because I was there.

Jack Benny gave us each a paper roll of coins. It was help yourself, pick your own dinner, carry it, schlep to whatever rickety table was available, bus your dishes yourself.

There is now a documentary in theaters about the Horn & Hardart chain. This bite into America of yesterday was loved by Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Colin Powell, Elliott Gould, Carl Reiner, Mel Brooks. Our economic downturn has begun talk about bringing back the Automat. The only difference might be the lemon meringue pie. Still crappy, but now might cost more than a dime.

A Caged life?

Nicolas Cage stars as himself in “The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent.” The comedy’s about him.

Nic: “It’s a fictionalized, surrealistic, abstract, comical account of a week in my life. A culmination of the perception of me in the media. Blips in my life that have gone public. My interviews and whatever interests me.” (In it he gets a million bucks to show up at a rich fan’s party.) “And some elements in it are truthful,” he said.

With Tiffany Haddish and Neil Patrick Harris, the thing creeps out April 22.

Ruff choices

Putin’s poop has gone to the dogs. Even four-legged animals react to the Ukraine horror. The American Kennel Club, with a 146-year-old show, is so in demand that it allows only 2,500 entrants. It just decreed its annual contest, parading this planet’s Best of Breeds and champions, will no longer accept entries — neither hounds nor judges — from Russia. The annual televised event, postponed due to the pandemic, will be held in June.

His civic duty

A note about how wonderful our new mayor is. He’s ruled people convicted of pot-related crimes may now be first in line to sell marijuana. Great. But homelessness, crime, filth, garbage, police in jeopardy, residents moving out, affordable housing, subways, high prices, places closed, food problems, traffic congestion, cost of living — forget it. Now, at a party, in front of cameras, he says he’s a mayor of all New York City including its nightlife. Are we lucky or what?

Russian away

Politics ex-radio/TV commentator Dennis Miller? For two years he’s hosted an interview show on Russian Television. William Shatner a k a Captain Kirk also syndicated a show on RT. After Putin’s invasion both left.

Manhattan’s clogged divorce courts are easing up. One financier started separation proceedings three weeks before his wedding.

Only in New York, kids, only in New York.