#Selling Sunset’s Maya Vander Opens Up About ‘Difficult’ Christmas After Her Devastating Stillbirth

Maya Vander got candid about celebrating the holidays while grieving a loss.

Earlier this month, the Selling Sunset personality revealed the devastating news that she experienced a stillbirth at 38 weeks. And on Saturday, she shared a photo of her husband David Miller, their 2-year-old son Aiden, and their 19-month-old daughter Elle posing in front of a Christmas tree, and opened up about how “difficult” this time has been for them. Although Vander said she may be smiling on the outside, she admitted on Instagram that she is still suffering from her pregnancy loss on the inside:

“This is not the Christmas Eve I had envisioned. This was the day Mason would have come home with us. It’s been two weeks since I lost my child. I am smiling in the photo but I got to tell you, it’s been difficult. I never experienced grief this way. Our family is taking it one day at a time and we are just trying our best for the kids.”

Related: Alyssa Scott Opens Up About ‘Grieving’ Loss Of Her & Nick Cannon’s Son Zen During The Holidays

Heartbreaking. Vander then added:

“I am extremely grateful for all the kindness and messages I have been getting. We are thankful for our children and know that it will be ok… I want to wish all of you happy holiday season! I hope and have faith that after the storm comes the [rainbow emoji, prayer hand emoji].”

In the comments section, several of her co-stars offered their love and condolences to Maya – including Christine Quinn:

“Sending all the love. We all love you so much Maya.”

Amanza Smith then wrote:

“I love you dearly.”

Chrishell Stause said:

“You are so loved. Praying for so many rainbows for you and your family.”

Oppenheim Group newcomer Vanessa Villela also expressed:

“Love you my beautiful Mayan. Sending you a big hug!!!!”

The 39-year-old real estate agent announced her loss on December 10, sharing a photo of a box with multiple pieces of baby clothes. Calling it the “hardest day of my life,” she wrote:

“I had a stillbirth at 38 weeks. I always heard of it but never imagined I’ll be part of the statistics. Instead of delivering a baby, I get to go home with a memory box. I do not wish this on anyone. What was a regular weekly checkup turned into a nightmare that I never imagine will happen to me. Given I share my pregnancies in the show I knew I’ll have to post about this and avoid the ‘when is your due date’ question. You will always be in our heart baby Mason.”

It is definitely okay not to be okay — especially after a painful loss such as this. We are sending so much love to Maya right now as she continues to grieve.

[Image via Maya Vander/Instagram]