Congratulations, greeniacs and klimate krazies: Thanks to your latest stunt, everyone hates you just a wee bit more and takes your cause a little less seriously. Smearing cake on the Mona Lisa? Really? History’s prettiest smile shouldn’t be covered in frosting.

“Think of the Earth, people are destroying the Earth,” the painting’s attacker said in French on Sunday as he was being walked away. Yeah, so, ruining an invaluable work of art is how we stop that? I guess that’s what you call “environmentalist logic.” Step aside, military intelligence and jumbo shrimp, there’s a new oxymoron in town.

Create traffic jams to protest emissions! Oppose fracking so we don’t get to use the vital bridge fuel of natural gas instead of oil! Shut down zero-emissions nuclear plants so that large countries such as Germany can, er, go back to burning coal! Everything environmentalists call for is counterproductive. It’s almost like they’re not thinking clearly while they’re holding their demented public displays of mass psychosis.

Last week, environmentalists from Money Rebellion, a spinoff of the climate-change freak show Extinction Rebellion, disrupted a shareholder meeting for Shell by singing “We Will Stop You” to the tune of “We Will Rock You,” before riding their petroleum-burning buses home. “We’re here to embarrass them and hold them to account,” said their leader, before Shell carried on with business unembarrassed. They know they’re in oil, thanks.

Last October, an environmentalist group blocked four major choke points in London, causing chaos all over the capital while seething motorists burned petrol and waited in traffic. Over Easter weekend, another counterproductive move by Extinction Rebellion closed key streets in Paris as well as London. Anyone who doubts that these people are failing to engage with reality should consider the banner hoisted in Paris that read: “This world is dying. Let’s build the next one.” Only in video games do you get to build a new world, people.

And what’s with the now-cliché love for causing massive traffic jams? Climate kids should rename themselves the Smog Lovers or the Carbon Spewers.

In the summer of 2019, Extinction Rebellion bozos super-glued themselves to a tunnel under the Capitol building to delay a vote on … something or other, and you probably yawned, if you even noticed. Who can keep track of all the stunts?

Last October, a group of cockeyed pessimists swarmed around the White House, demanding that President Biden declare a national emergency and end projects involving fossil fuels. Meanwhile, they vandalized a statue of Andrew Jackson, spraying “EXPECT US” on its base. Expect you to … be annoying? We were already expecting that. Ultimately the performatively worried join these mobs for the same reasons toddlers throw tantrums: because it’s an excellent way to get attention. “I don’t want to die!” shrieked a woman as she was realizing her goal of getting arrested at the White House protest. Noted. So go home and don’t die, then. Andrew Jackson isn’t listening, and neither are most of us.

The young French enviro-nut who went after the Mona Lisa took pains to disguise himself as an old woman in a wheelchair (why?) before his stunt, which culminated with him attempting to break the glass that covers the Leonardo masterpiece in the Louvre. Failing to do that, he settled for smearing cake on it before he was led away grumbling.

It was all spacey dreams, self-righteousness and indignation, with no actual point. Cake is nothing but empty calories, and climate protests are the cake of policy discussions.