So, after all of that; Rocket’s very uncomfortable escape with an eyeball in his ass, Thor’s acceptance of the butt gift, and the wearing of it in “Avengers: Endgame” … now “Thor: Love and Thunder” takes that all away? Yell your outrage and anger along with mine, friends. I am throw-my-Marvel-Blu-rays-against-the-wall-harass-everyone-talking-about-the-teaser-on-Twitter angry. Forget every other incredibly cool thing in the teaser trailer! Forget the fact that this movie looks like a total blast! Forget the fact that director Taika Waititi is a comic genius and would never overlook something like this. I have the angrys! Boycott Marvel or something! Yell at everyone who mentions Thor! Punch babies on the street in protest!* 

Sure, maybe an ass eye isn’t the most hygienic thing to have in your face. But still … I mean, I guess he might have wanted matching eyes, but this is an inconsistency! Yeah, fine, maybe an eye that looked the same as the other one was part of his whole makeover summer with the workout montage, or maybe Valkyrie (Tessa Thompson) was tired of looking at it or hearing about the “sweet rabbit” ass eye or something and made him change it. 

No! No excuses! I’m mad, I tells ya! Let’s go picket the Marvel offices with signs that say something like, “We want the ass eye!” No? No one’s with me? Fine then. I’ll go start a Twitter hashtag #asseye or something. Sheep! 

“Thor: Love and Thunder” will hit theaters on July 8, 2022.

*Do not punch babies.