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#The Moneyist: ‘It’s a real source of stress’: My friend, 67, asked a trustworthy nephew to be his executor, but he has not made time for him in 2 years — even to sign papers

“The Moneyist: ‘It’s a real source of stress’: My friend, 67, asked a trustworthy nephew to be his executor, but he has not made time for him in 2 years — even to sign papers”

‘There are no other living relatives’

Dear Quentin,

My 67-year-old longtime friend is retired, owns his small home and has a small retirement income. He asked a trustworthy nephew to be his executor, and the nephew agreed. However, it has been over two years and this nephew has yet to make time to meet to sign papers, get keys, etc. 

There are no other living relatives. I asked my friend if they could accomplish all of this electronically and he seemed resistant to that idea, although I’m not sure if it would even be possible. I am concerned because it’s a real source of stress for him. 

They live four hours apart. What kind of alternative might there be for someone in this situation?

Concerned Friend

Dear Concerned,

Your friend needs someone who is more than trustworthy. He needs someone reliable, responsible and, ideally, impartial. Just because this nephew is your friend’s only living relative that does not mean he should be the executor of his estate. In this case, it sounds like a bad idea.

An executor has a fiduciary duty to act in your friend’s best interests, and is required to produce a death certificate, an inventory of the assets, cash flows, expenses, sales and other tax documents. It’s a lot of work. If not handled properly, the executor could even be sued.

Upon his death, your friend’s executor would need to spend a great deal of time collecting documents and managing any real estate and, for instance, may have to make decisions on the sale of the house and whether it needs renovations prior to sale. He can leave house keys with an attorney and a spare set with you.

Here’s a sobering thought: It takes an average of 16 months to settle an estate and approximately 570 hours of work, according to a survey by the software company EstateExec. Debts and conflict among any beneficiaries can also complicate matters. It’s not a job for the faint of heart.

If your friend has a sizable estate and/or no other living relatives, he should make a will before he does anything else, and perhaps look into the possibility of hiring a professional executor. He can also have more than one executor, if he is concerned about the reliability of one.

A professional executor may be a smart choice if there are no family members living close by, your friend has a complex estate, and/or he wants to ease the burden on relatives at a difficult time, among many other reasons, according to RBC Wealth Management

In the meantime, your friend may wish to think about a durable power of attorney — authorizing a trusted person to make personal, business and legal decisions in the event he becomes incapable of doing these things himself. These can also cover medical issues such as end-of-life decisions.

The same principles for choosing a power of attorney apply here too: Your friend wants to appoint someone he can trust and who will carry out his wishes. That could be a trusted attorney; a priest, minister or rabbi; a close neighbor or friend; or, yes, even a good friend like you. 

Check out the Moneyist private Facebook group, where we look for answers to life’s thorniest money issues. Readers write in to me with all sorts of dilemmas. Post your questions, tell me what you want to know more about, or weigh in on the latest Moneyist columns.

The Moneyist regrets he cannot reply to questions individually.

By emailing your questions, you agree to having them published anonymously on MarketWatch. By submitting your story to Dow Jones & Company, the publisher of MarketWatch, you understand and agree that we may use your story, or versions of it, in all media and platforms, including via third parties.

Also read:

‘At our age, should we do this?’ We’re retired, have $5 million in savings and earn $7,000 a month. Should we spend over $2.1 million to build our dream home?

​​‘We don’t have any children’: My family owns land that has been in our family for 100 years. I would like to leave this land to my wife. But what if she remarries?

‘How can I be fair to both?’: I spent $20,000 more on my daughter’s education than my son’s education. Should I level the playing field — and invest $20,000 in stocks for my son’s retirement?

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