For NYC, the Review is in

Comes now a chorus line of award shows.

First, National Board of Review. Cipriani 42nd St. 6 p.m. Red carpet till 7 p.m. ish. Drinks, dinner, presenters, winners, gents in semi-pressed suits, ladies in borrowed gowns, Mike Zimet’s 20 security guys in earpieces.

So “Batman” Riddler villain Paul Dano who’s now in “The Fabelmans”:

“No idea how I got this role or how Steven Spielberg thought of me. I only know I got a text from him. He said he wanted to see me. Who knew why? I didn’t even know him well. He said he’s doing this movie and something about me reminded him of his father. Oddly, it reminded me of my father too.”

Lesley Paterson. Also off her normal orbit. Five-time world champion triathlon athlete, this Scot wrote the German screenplay for Netflix’s “All Quiet on the Western Front.”

“Took 16 years to accomplish,” she said. “I researched it for eight years.”

Why? It’s an ancient property.

“Because it’s World War I. Never done in modern times. And never told in German.”

Whizzing past — open collar, no tie — Ron Howard. I screeched, “You made a four-part Showtime documentary on me. Who you dissing?”

Ron: “Ohh, sorry, sorry, lovely to see you . . . I have to introduce Colin Farrell . . .” and resumed whizzing.

Charlotte Wells, 35, Scottish, director of “Aftersun.” Wearing Hermès. She may grab an award but not the shirt. “I return it in the morning,” she said.

Oscar Isaac. His moves as Marvel’s “Moon Knight,” I’m not sure. His moves backstage I’m sure. His wife was in Dries Van Noten and he kept rubbing her behind.

Janelle Monáe in floor-length Valentino and spine-length blond hairpiece looked gorgeous. She said: “Took an hour just to do my nails. And I’ve seen my movie ‘Glass Onion’ over 10 times at screenings, premieres and with the family.”

PR guy Will Wilbur whispered I must talk to Michelle Yeoh because she’ll grab an Oscar for “Everything Everywhere All at Once.” She told me she’s wearing Erdem but that was at the same time as in walked Spielberg.

Spielberg: “‘The Fabelmans’ is about all my family people. They’ve stayed alive in my mind. It’s really my first memories. A way to remember my mother and father and sister. Look, I didn’t have a diary. It’s a coming-of-age story and those memories have stayed in my mind — but it’s easy for me, as well as my sister, to keep forgetting.”

Board of Review president Annie Schulhof: “Things are different now. Small screen instead of the big majestic movie palace.” Also changed is Annie being brunette. Now blond she says: “My hairdresser’s away.”

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Siren sounded

Listen, I know this is not my business — but — a photo in Saturday’s NY Post has Jamie Lee Curtis, coming up to age 65, in a gown cut just around her boobs, cut just around her navel, cut just around her crotch. I mean, please . . . America: All for one and one for smut!

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And GodBlessUs our special town is a very unique place. Where else can you find signs that say, “Keep on the Grass.”

Only in New York, kids, only in New York.