#How to Deal With Toddler Temper Tantrums

Controlling your own temper while your child throws a tantrum might be challenging. “Meltdowns are terrible, nasty things, but they’re a fact of childhood,” says Ray Levy, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist with a practice in Dallas and co-author of Try and Make Me! Simple Strategies That Turn Off the Tantrums and Promote Cooperation. Young children between the ages of 1 and 4 haven’t yet mastered effective coping mechanisms. Instead, they frequently lose it.”

When your child frequently throws tantrums, uncovering the underlying causes while maintaining emotional composure is crucial. Keep reading to learn effective strategies for handling child tantrums and understanding their origins or you can visit Child Psychologist Northern Beaches for professional guidance.

What Are Tantrums?

Temper tantrums are overwhelming emotional outbursts brought on by frustration or rage. They include biting, flailing, kicking, hitting, and verbal outbursts, such as shouting and yelling. And tantrums whether they happen in toddlers or older kids are typically quite upsetting.

How to Handle Toddler Tantrums

1. Handle aggressive behaviour immediately

Amid a tantrum with physical acting out behaviour like hitting or kicking, intervene immediately and remove your child from the situation. Emphasise that hurting others or oneself is not acceptable behaviour. Consider this: “It’s okay to be furious with me, but hitting is not okay. “You’re allowed to feel angry with me, but hitting is not acceptable. I won’t permit you to strike me.” “It looks like you’re upset because your block tower collapsed.” Stay composed while being firm. According to evidence based theories in child psychology, it’s better to establish a clear approach to aggressive meltdowns right from a young age.

2. Refrain from yelling

Remember, your child will often mirror your example when managing their anger. They will eventually shout in response to your yelling because they, inherently, want to interact and connect with you. In the middle of the commotion, staying calm may be facilitated by concentrating on whether they are upset or unhappy.

If you raise your voice, which happens to the best of us, say you’re sorry and request a second chance. I apologize. I don’t want to talk to you in that way. Can we begin again?” Nobody is flawless.

3. Let your child be angry

Linda Pearson, R.N., author of “The Discipline Miracle,” advises that sometimes, a young person must express their anger, so it’s okay to let them do so.. (Just be mindful of anything around that can endanger them or others.)

“I support this strategy since it teaches kids how to express themselves constructively. They can express their emotions, gather themselves, and restore composure without participating in a screaming match or a struggle of wills with you.

Hold on tight: Be a source of comfort and reassurance. The goal is to allow your child to experience their emotions in a supportive, safe environment, not to disregard them and distance yourself from them.

4. Pick your battles

Giving in a little bit might sometimes be a wise move. Simply keep an eye on the balance. According to Dr. Rubinowitz, if you employ this tactic too frequently, you risk encouraging tantrums and setting yourself up for failure.

However, there are situations when giving up a little bit is acceptable. In contrast to the short-term effectiveness of threats like “I’ll give you ice cream if you stop crying!” you can agree to your child’s request to listen to a particular song again in return for a peaceful car ride.

5. Use brief specific commands

Short, direct, and to-the-point orders may frequently prevent tantrums. Better, even if they are more precise (“Don’t hit the dog”), give your kid a specific activity to perform if they are trapped in a bad mood. “Let’s colour” is far more specific than general requests like “Be good.” A change of scenery (“Time to water the flowers!”) might also be helpful.

6. Distract them

Dr. Levy suggests using a child’s short attention span to your advantage. If they’re on the verge of a tantrum over not buying sugary cereal, cheerfully divert their focus with something like, “How about we pick an ice cream flavour?” or “Look at those lobsters in the tank!” or “Oh, look at the tank of lobsters over there!”

7. Hug them

Dr Levy recommends doing something you might resist during your child’s tantrum: it can significantly aid in their calming down. I’m not talking about a hug that’s super-cuddly, but rather one that’s big and strong. Keep quiet while you do it to avoid engaging in another pointless struggle of wills. Even if you disagree with a child’s conduct, a hug may help them feel comfortable and show them that you care.

8. Help undo frustration

Your young child is sobbing and wailing because they cannot put on their shoes. Instead, assist them in completing that work so they can feel successful. Recognize their urge to do something risky, such as climbing a ladder, but reiterate your rule: “I know you want to climb up high, but that’s not allowed.” If at all feasible, consider a different phrase: “You can climb the slide ladder at the park.”

9. Switch locations

Pick up your child and quietly transport them to a safe location if they act out publicly. Take them somewhere where they can let off steam, like your car or a quieter place. Once you arrive, calmly soothe your child while being gentle. A young child can sometimes be calmed down by simply being touched or stroked.

10. Enlist their “help.”

Make sure your youngster has eaten and had a good night’s sleep before you take them food shopping. Ask children to choose items to buy at the shop after bringing an engaging toy or book in the car. According to Alan Greene, M.D., a father of four and an adjunct clinical professor of paediatrics at Stanford University School of Medicine, you might even carry paper and a pen with you to jot down the suggestions they make. Read back some of their more wholesome food selections towards the journey’s conclusion and let them take one or two items. Making a list will keep them busy, let them feel included, and assure them of a prize.

The Bottom Line

Dealing with your toddler’s tantrums can be challenging, but it’s essential to remember that these outbursts are just as challenging for your child. Your toddler is frequently trying to navigate their emotions and may not have a better way of expressing their distress. So, rather than viewing tantrums as a behaviour problem, look at them as learning opportunities and times when your child needs extra support.

by Ms. Rashi

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