#Blue Jays vs. Braves prediction: Bet on Ross Stripling

Hey Walt, you’re next. Cancel culture has moved from Dr. Seuss to Disney. “Snow White” is under attack. When Prince Charming kisses the poisoned White to wake her from her comatose state, the unvaxxed, pervy Prince did it without her consent. In the reimagined ending, Snow, a woman of color, falls into a coma after watching 30 minutes of the Oscars and is WOKE when the masked Charming changes the channel to CNN.

Cold pitchers in Hotlanta. The Braves Charlie Morton (2-2, ERA 4.98) could not get out of the first frame against the Phillies in his last start. The Blue Jays go with Ross Stripling (0-2, ERA 6.61). According to MLB.com, Stripling’s job is “hanging in the balance, with his WHIP nearing 2.000.” With our job hanging in the balance after having our butts whupped time and time again, we will back the desperate Stripling and the Jays for 10 units.

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Turns out Harvey Day was like every other day. Mets rolled out the Welcome Matt then wiped Harvey out, scoring seven runs. “I was holding back tears,” the pitcher said. Me too. Not sure where this is going but we’re on our way. Down -1,574 belangers.