He’s truly Marx-ed his spot

“All people are born alike. Except Democrats and Republicans.”

“He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot. But don’t let that fool you, he really is an idiot.”

This is from another non-Tony show. They’re Groucho Marx grouches from the big cigar, bushy eyebrows, painted moustache, stooped walk, signature glasses star of the old-time Groucho, Chico, Harpo Marx Brothers whose ’20s to ’30s movies include “Duck Soup,” “Animal Crackers,” “The Cocoanuts” and “A Night at the Opera.”

Groucho, who was also on TV, grouched: “I find television educating. Every time someone turns on the set I go into the other room and read a book.”

Now on public television, and just released on DVD, is “Frank Ferrante’s Groucho.” He’s played it onstage 35 years, 500 cities, 3,000 performances.

It also played off-Broadway in 1986 in Arthur Marx’s “Groucho: A Life in Revue” and in 1996 in the Marx Brothers’ vehicle “The Cocoanuts.”

And to quote Groucho: “I don’t know what anyone has to say. It makes no difference anyway. Whatever it is, I’m against it.”

When you have a stake in steaks

Publisher Joan Jedell reports that a famous steakhouse’s two NYC locations have told customers that their loyalty rewards program tracks with the value of Bitcoin.

Suddenly lousy, it now gives new meaning to the term doggy bag.

Dad was always butting in

Oy, you won’t believe this. It is the Cherry Lane Theatre playing “Escape from Daddyland.” It is performed by Steve Wruble. He is the singer-songwriter-psychiatrist son of — ready? — Elvis Presley’s proctologist.

This thing is his journey from Orthodox Jew in the Deep South to daddy issues with his father who, as previously stated, was Elvis’ rear-end specialist.

The script is he divorces the wife. He then takes those few of us willing to go to Germany. He next decides to make his father proud by killing it on the comedy stages of Berlin — which all civilization knows is a fall-down, hold your sides, laugh-a-minute-ha-ha city. You still with me?

Seems when he was a teenager living in an apartment in Memphis below orthodox Rabbi Fruchter, he (playing teenage Elvis) would be called to turn off the Rabbi’s sabbath lights. He then also impersonates Elvis.

The show has five songs. Original. Like who’d copy one about your behind, right? They’re written and performed by Wruble. Obviously, Renée Fleming was occupied.

Performances are Thursday and Saturday at 8 p.m. and Sunday at 5 p.m.

I declined my tickets. I figured a proctologist could be a pain in the ass.

Invasion notes

Sour note. I am also being told Putin’s listening to lots of classical music, including his favorite Tchaikovsky. As if he wants to be Russia’s most famous conductor.

Intelligence types have reported he sees this invasion like a symphony.

Summer. Miami. More people in the parks than pigeons. Now winter’s Ferraris, Rolls-Royces, stuffed shirts change to Fords, Volkswagens and stuffed shorts.

And those seniors are only in the Hamptons, kids, only in the Hamptons.