In an Instagram post on Monday, the pop princess posted a photo of a pink rose and shared a long post bravely speaking about how she truly feels. She started by addressing how “embarrassed” she feels of her past in comparison to how “perfect” social media makes others’ lives seem:

“It’s crazy … social media … everybody’s life seems so perfect and when I post things I think most of the time I’ve been utterly and completely embarrassed of my past … and who can forget those documentaries ???”

She confessed she always tries to “show the good life” and post photos where she “looks her best”:

“So yes, I do try and post me looking my best or what it may seem to be the good life.”

Chances are you know how Brit feels! According to studies, it’s estimated upwards of 60 percent of people have their self-esteem negatively impacted and up to 53 percent of people have reported they felt more self-conscious about their appearance and lifestyle due to these apps.

Related: Nicki Minaj BLASTS ‘C**ksucker’ Kevin Federline For Attack On Britney!

The Oops… I Did It Again singer got real, though, and said although her “spirits are better” she will forever be haunted by her trauma. Sadly, she even says she feels like there’s “no way to fix” herself and she needs “some sort of miracle”:

“Well the truth is, my spirits are better but I will forever be traumatized by my past experience for life … there is no way to fix me, my emotions and my sensitivity … therapy, all of it !!! I think I will need some sort of miracle for my emotions.”

Aw, Brit. We believe in you. You are a light in this world!!

The 40-year-old states she cries “herself to sleep most nights” and she’s “insecure as hell” about her posture and walk just to name a few things:

“My life is by no means picture perfect … I cry myself to sleep most night … I’m insecure as hell … I don’t know how to have good posture unless I’m on camera … and I need to go to a school just to be taught how to freaking walk.”

Britney calls herself “lazy” and says she’s been learning to use the word “more” after being denied so much throughout her life — she wonders if this makes her “a bad person”:

“I know you say “but you are a performer” … well that’s it !!! It’s an act on stage … in real life I have no clue … and I’m working on that !!! I’m so lazy and I’m learning the word “MORE” … I’ve never had seconds at the dinner table and I know ESPECIALLY in LA a lot of people starve themselves but it’s weird … I WANT MORE lately … does that make me a bad person ???”

It’s something most don’t give a second thought about, but with the Gimme More singer’s descriptions of her past it’s heartbreaking she hasn’t experienced some things that are so common for others. She recalls the moment she realized she may have never had “seconds” in her life:

“It’s weird just the other night someone made me the best mac and cheese … I swear I wanted more so bad !!! But I didn’t do it then I thought about it !!! Have I ever had seconds ???”

The Make Me musician concludes her thoughts by saying she doesn’t think “more” is “so bad” after all. She seems to want to open up herself to new experiences and open new doors in her life:

“It’s called MORE and maybe MORE isn’t so bad … and opening to MORE and the DOOR !!!”

Ch-ch-check out the full post (below):

We truly wish the best for Brit-Brit while she continues healing from everything she’s experienced and opening new “doors” in her life. And next time we hope she takes all the mac and cheese she wants!

[Image via FayesVision/WENN]