#Breaking Down Jamie Lynn Spears’ Book So You Don’t Have To: The Biggest Reveals!

Things I Should Have Said is here.

There’s been a lot of anticipating for Jamie Lynn Spears’ new memoir, especially amidst her big sis Britney Spears condemning the venture and denying the author’s recollections. But JL is standing by her story and is adamant about speaking her truth – especially after living in her sister’s shadow for so long.

In one passage, the 30-year-old wrote:

“So much attention was devoted to Britney, to protecting their asset, that I was left to take care of myself at all turns. The only way I could do that was to try in vain to be the loyal, loving, and devoted Spears family member. No one protected me from the backlash of my older sister’s struggles or prepared me for what our silence would cost. We were a tight-knit family torn apart by money, distorted truths, and undisclosed personal issues.”

Related: Jamie Lynn Is Ditching The Book Tour Following Backlash

In fact, she even shared an alleged text message from her popstar sis that seemingly exonerated JL from the family feuding:

“In a recent text from my sister, she stated herself: ‘I know it’s not your fault and I’m sorry for being so angry at you. Although I’m your big sister, I need you more than you need me and always have.’ … I pray for the day she shares these words with the world. … I have no control over anything the media reports and cannot be held responsible for something I have absolutely no control over.”

As a matter of fact, that text isn’t really so far from what Brit herself has shared on social media. She’s said again and again that she needed support from her family and never got it. And even though the conservatorship certainly isn’t Jamie Lynn’s fault, we can see her lack of support in victim-blamey sections of the book like this:

“In recent years, and this past summer in particular, when my sister spoke to the world about her feelings regarding my parents’ purposeful strategy to garner fame, Britney’s impassioned statements included the wrongdoings of everyone involved, without any reference to herself.”

Umm… yikes! The Grammy winner never claimed to be perfect in her testimony. What does she want Brit to say after spending a decade under their father’s control?!

The actress mused:

“If I am guilty of anything, it’s of enabling the situation to continue by not speaking up earlier in her career. I often wonder if I had, would it have made any difference?”

Now that Jamie Lynn is speaking up, scroll on for more revelations from her bombshell memoir:

Relationship with Britney

When Jamie Lynn was a child, her decade-older sister was “like a second mother” to her. She wrote:

“The sisterly bond I share with Britney was fostered by her devotion to me as a child. Being the baby sister of Britney Spears is nothing like what people assume. From the day I arrived, I became Britney’s. Momma was often working and taking care of the family. She was also dealing with the complexities of an addict husband. … When I was a baby, she spent hours playing with me. She would dress me up and make sure I looked precious. At first, Momma would do my hair, but then she realized that Britney was so much better at it. Britney would wake up early to attend to me before she went to school. Our relationship grew as we did.”

In fact, the Stronger singer is the one who “encouraged” her sister’s love of performing:

“She doted on me as an infant and continued to do so as I began to sing and create my own skits. My sister showered me with attention, love, and praise well into my teens. … For many years, she was good at keeping her persona out of our sisterhood. The rest of it — the stardom, talent, and turbulent media s**tstorm — that’s got very little to do with the sister I love.”

However, as her sister’s fame grew, things became increasingly difficult for Jamie Lynn:

“I was taught to defer to Britney or behave in a way that made things easier for her. Momma said stuff like, ‘Come on, Jamie Lynn, we don’t want to upset your sister.’ It could be something as simple as ‘Let Britney do that first,’ or ‘If it’s good for your sister, it’s good for all of us.’ What complicated things even more was that Momma reveled in the attention that came with being Britney’s mother.”

Britney’s Conservatorship

As the years went on, Jamie Lynn witnessed her sister struggle and “saw the depth of her difficulty.” She recalled:

“One time, she said to me, ‘Baby, I’m scared,’ and took a large knife from the kitchen, pulled me along to my room, and she locked us both inside. She put the knife in the bedside table drawer and simply repeated, ‘I’m scared.’ She needed me to sleep beside her. … Within days of this episode, Britney was packing up and headed back to her life in L.A. I knew something was very wrong, and I was powerless to do anything about it. Everyone was too invested and didn’t want to do what should have been done. Something was off, and I had a shaky feeling when she left.”

(BTW, Britney has already denied the knife story.)

After the performer’s breakup with Kevin Federline, mom Lynne Spears and her youngest child “considered moving in with my sister in Malibu, hoping to create a more cohesive family environment and support Britney, who was having a difficult time. As much as we wanted to all be together, it became increasingly obvious that something was out of whack in Britney’s world.”

Around that time, she wrote:

“At first, I just assumed it was the fallout from her divorce and the media obsession with her. But my normally sweet and free-spirited sister continued to morph into someone else — who was disturbed and paranoid at times. Sometimes she would lash out for no apparent reason or ignore me. Invariably, Britney would feel bad and later apologize. As far as I could tell, she lacked any kind of structure or schedule to her chaotic life. Momma sensed Britney needed help, but she kept insisting she was fine.”

Jamie Lynn continued:

“Many genuinely cared for Britney’s well-being and protected her interests. But she also became a target for unsavory and duplicitous people. … In the midst of all this, she’d had her heart broken more than once and become a mom. … And even while she retained her iconic pop-star status, the cracks from earlier disappointments became fissures. Britney didn’t reach out for help dealing with the issues she was facing, and it seemed that almost everyone on the team was more interested in keeping the money coming in than in getting her the help she needed.”

The writer then parroted the party line on the conservatorship:

“My sister didn’t seem well, and those closest to her at the time, especially my parents, believed the conservatorship was the best way to protect her and the fortune she had amassed throughout her career. I think their only intent was to keep her safe at a time when she couldn’t do that for herself.”

She added:

“I was sixteen years old and getting ready to deliver my first child. I knew things were difficult for Britney, but I was wrapped up in my own life. At the time, I supported her by remaining loyal to her, by listening to her and protecting her in whatever manner I could.”

Reacting to Britney’s anger

Getting back to the victim-blaming, the Nickelodeon alum callously wrote that her “sister’s diatribe assigns blame outward without any self-reflection.” She said:

“At no point did my sister lift the veil on what or who is truly responsible for her challenges. By excluding this, she allowed an onslaught of hate that put me and my family at risk. Her references to me left me reeling. I have only ever had her back…. I continued to protect her until just recently, when she decided I didn’t need protecting and threw me to the proverbial media wolves.”

The court testimony that pointed fingers at the singer’s whole family left Jamie Lynn feeling like the years she “spent protecting [Britney] and being the loyal sister have been in vain.” She continued:

“The ambiguity of her conservatorship testimonies and social media postings have left me wondering what it was all for. I miss my sister, but I can’t take the blame for things I haven’t done. … My relationship with Britney and our struggles has nothing to do with the conservatorship, but rather the boundaries I put in place to maintain the welfare of me and my immediate family.”

The momma of two added:

“I have no skin in this media spectacle other than dealing with the shrapnel her explosive testimony blasted my way, but that pales in comparison to the heartbreak in my older daughter’s eyes as she hears the whispers amongst her peers.”

A bit more generously, she reflected:

“For me, this has only ever been about the girl who gave so much in pursuit of her dream to sing for millions. The flip side was everything Britney sacrificed along the way: her privacy, dignity, and overall health. When the cameras turn away and everyone’s moved on to the next headline, I will still be here for my sister, no matter what is said or done between us.”

Related: Jamie Lynn Begs Britney To Call & Work Things Out ‘Privately’ Amid Feud

Jamie SPears’ drinking

Britney wasn’t Jamie Lynn’s only target, as she also wrote about her father’s battle with alcoholism. Over the years, he “never really stopped drinking,” although he would sometimes take breaks; the former child star wrote that she “never knew what version” of Jamie Spears she would get. She shared:

“My dad’s long-standing habit of disappearing for weeks at a time continued despite the angst it caused, and my momma enabled his behaviors. I was traumatized by the fallout of his alcohol abuse and developed anticipatory anxiety at the thought of him showing up drunk to any of my sporting events or performances.”

She also said:

“I always wanted to have Dad in my life, but never knowing if he was drinking caused me profound anxiety. Much of that anxiety was a result of Momma not doing what she should have done to protect me when he was on a bender. Daddy’s behavior and Momma’s enabling denied me essential moments of my life. We stopped communicating, and yet, and much to my dismay, he would show up in our apartment in California or on set.”

The early conservatorship was actually a positive time for Jamie Lynn’s relationship with her dad, she explained:

“For a period of time, the conservatorship mandated that Britney be drug and alcohol tested on a regular basis. My father volunteered to do it with her in solidarity. This was the first time in my life where someone was holding them accountable for their behaviors, and the perpetual anxiety I lived with for so long finally subsided. I could stop worrying about their sobriety. We started to spend some time together and heal our battered relationship. He apologized to me for the years of humiliation and embarrassment he’d caused.”

Letting him back into her life, she revealed:

“I didn’t just forgive and forget. There were stipulations that included healthy behaviors and absolutely no drinking. For the most part Daddy manages his end of the bargain, until he doesn’t and I have to kick him out of my life for a while.”

While Jamie seems to have caused a lot of the collective Spears family trauma, his daughter also shared some concerning anecdotes about their mother as well. Once, while she was on Zoey 101, she had an explosive fight with her Lynne:

“She was angry and yelling at me, but when that didn’t yield the desired effect, she started hitting me with a large beaded purse that had, among other things, a camera inside. She repeatedly swung the bag and landed several blows on my shoulders before she stopped.”

Jamie Lynn’s pregnancy

The Netflix star’s teen pregnancy also caused considerable strain on her family. She had a tumultuous relationship with her daughter’s father, Casey “Casper” Aldridge, whom she met at a church youth group. They had an on-and-off relationship, and when she became pregnant, he “insinuated I slept around and even if I was pregnant, maybe the baby wasn’t his.”

Her father encouraged her to put the baby up for adoption, she wrote:

“My daddy and I stopped speaking and the tension was terrible. … One person after another — and there were many — came to my room trying to convince me that having a baby at this point in my life was a terrible idea.”

She remembered:

“My team believed everyone outside of the inner circle was a potential threat. They went so far as hiding my pregnancy from my sister, claiming, ’It’s too risky to tell Britney about the baby.’ I needed her more than ever, and she wasn’t able to help me in my most vulnerable time. Britney’s condition was spiraling into something more concerning. They were concerned her instability at that time made her untrustworthy. I went along with what my team told me to do because I was a minor and didn’t want to create any more issues. Britney learned of the pregnancy when the article was released. To this day, the hurt of not being able to tell my sister myself lingers.”

Jamie Lynn spent her early pregnancy in isolation while the media speculated wildly about her situation. She wrote:

“At sixteen, I struggled to make sense of everything, let alone the changes to my body and circumstance. No one on the team listened to me and I was stymied each time I wanted to speak up. This environment felt oppressive, and I started to think about doing something drastic.”

She even went so far as to draw up emancipation papers, but her parents granted her a bit more freedom in compromise. However, she still struggled in her relationship with Casper, even after he proposed:

“The engagement proved our legitimacy to the world. I was doing the right thing for my baby. This entire scenario was damage control for my sinking public reputation… In reality, my fiancé was gone more than he was home and his whereabouts remained unknown to me most of the time.”

After giving birth, she shared:

“A few days after Maddie and I had returned home, my family went back to living their own lives, and my fiancé was back partying and disappearing for hours. … He was just blatant in his actions, not even trying to deceive me or keep his activities hidden. I realized that I was a new mom, and I had changed too. But his disinterest, lack of fatherly attention, and disregard for our needs was evident in most of his decisions.”

The country singer realized she “was living in an emotionally abusive home and my vivacity was slowly draining away,” and eventually broke things off with Casper.

Justin Timberlake

One surprising section of the memoir was Jamie Lynn’s fond memories of her sister’s ex, Justin Timberlake:

“Plain and simple, I adored Justin. He wasn’t just my sister’s boyfriend. Justin was my first example of a kind and generous young man. He and my sister were happy together for a long time. … Justin was always so sweet to me, and his relationship with Britney was the only one in my life that gave me a sense of stability. That may sound strange considering how it ended, but from my perspective, they adored each other and made me a part of their relationship in the best of ways.”

She never felt like a “burden” to either of them, she wrote:

“Justin treated me like a little sister and doted on me any chance he got. I have so many memories of Britney, Justin, and me being together — many of them on car rides to one place or another. … I appreciated Britney’s willingness to make me the third wheel in her relationship and I am eternally grateful for the memories they gave me.”

With that in mind, the infamous breakup made a huge impact on the then 11-year-old:

“Unfortunately, I was deeply affected by their split. The constancy of their relationship provided the best example of a loving couple I had ever seen. I was completely heartbroken when it was over and believed that it was a devastating loss in Britney’s life as well.”

Jason Alexander

Justin wasn’t the only ex of Britney’s who got airtime… Jamie Lynn had some painful memories concerning her sister’s short-lived marriage to Jason Alexander. At the time, the superstar “was looking to party away the pain of her breakup with Justin,” but her little sister was hurt that Britney appeared to be “moving on without me.”

When Britney went to party with Jason in Las Vegas, JL recalled:

“I just knew this was a bad idea. Something was way off with her. The last thing I said before she left was, ‘Now don’t go and marry Jason while you’re there, Britney!’ She rolled her eyes at me and said the equivalent of ‘as if.’ But sure enough, within hours we got word that in a haze of substance she had married him.”

Umm, seriously?!

She remembered that while her family went into damage control, she “was left behind, forced to deal with gossip and chatter from everyone all over town”:

“I shadowed my embarrassment and humiliation by downplaying the whole fiasco and pretending it was blown out of proportion. Inside I was scared and unsure of how to manage. I felt abandoned. The marriage ended within hours, but the chaos of my sister’s life was just beginning.”

Alexa Nikolas

During her Zoey 101 days, Jamie Lynn felt like she was “a little on the friendship fringe” with the rest of the cast. This was compounded by some alleged rumors being spread about her, first that she was “mean or bitchy,” and later that she “smelled bad” and had lice. She wrote that “Everyone was telling me that Alexa [Nikolas] was the one making the false claims” (Alexa has also denied this.)

She turned to her sister for guidance, which led to an on-set incident:

“A few days later, a very pregnant Britney came to the set to visit. … Britney didn’t waste any time getting to the point. ‘Are you making fun of my sister? Telling lies and spreading rumors? You shouldn’t do that!’ Britney told her that she wouldn’t keep jobs if she continued to treat people that way.”

Zoey 101

Overall, the actress had positive things to say about her time on the series – even about the show’s embattled creator Dan Schneider. She wrote nothing of Schneider’s controversies, instead crediting him with recognizing her talent and knowing “how to get just what he needed from a rambunctious group of teens who thought that they were all that.” She claimed he was “exacting and insisted on professionalism.”

She also claimed that she and Nickelodeon mutually agreed to end the show once Zoey had reached a certain point of “maturity.” However, she’s now looking for a way to bring the character back:

“Zoey connected with fans in such a powerful way that it’s as if they have to know how she turns out as an adult. I am actively working to bring Zoey back to the screen. … I am excited at the prospect of working on another Zoey 101 project, whether that be a long-format movie or series. … The cast is eager to reunite and bring the characters into the present. We have been in talks to reinvent the series. Producers and writers have shared some concepts that sound intriguing. Hopefully a modern-day version will go into production soon.”

Eating disorder & mental health issues

The child star life did take its toll on Jamie Lynn’s mental health, and she recalled periods where she would “basically starve” herself. She wrote:

“At the 2007 Kids’ Choice Awards everyone around me commented on how great I looked. My own team noticed my slim form and said, ‘Jamie Lynn, you’ve never looked better!’ They gushed about my beauty and slimness. … Although I never struggled with my size, I did experience periods of self-doubt, no different than most girls. But in that orange-carpet moment, with all of the cameras focused on me, I was confronted with my insecurities. The battle between loving the way I felt and the concern that I had been too big all along was raging.”

When she went to therapy as an adult, she shared:

“I was finally ready to open up and get to the root of my difficulties. I was officially diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and obsessive-compulsive disorder. Up to that point, I managed well enough. But then, the culmination of everything — pregnancy, public humiliation, stress, failed relationship, et cetera — was too much for me to handle. It took a lot for me to keep it all together. I committed myself to regular sessions and I quickly felt the positive effects of being home and quality therapy. I was on the right track.”

Related: Jamie Lynn’s Memoir Sales Donation Offer REJECTED By Mental Health Nonprofit

Relationship with Jamie Watson

Jamie Lynn met her now-husband, Jamie Watson, while she was still with Casper. She admitted that she “appreciated that Jamie was an adult who had his s**t together at a time when my fiancé was focused on getting his next fix.” As they became friends, she reflected:

“Our romantic feelings, the ones we worked to keep contained, came second to the relationship Jamie, Maddie, and I shared. He was incredibly patient, which only made his appeal stronger. The slow burn of our relationship gave me time to get comfortable with the idea of us.”

However, things took a turn when she and Casper tried to give their relationship another shot:

“The second I shared the news [with Jamie], the tone of his words changed in a way I had never experienced. Jamie’s opinion meant everything to me. Anger and disappointment suffused every word,” Jamie Lynn recalls. “‘Do you realize the mistake you are making for yourself and Maddie? He’s trash. He’s proved it time and time again. He’s not reliable. Being with him, Jamie Lynn, is just bad! He’s trash and you being with him makes you trash too. It makes me question everything I know about you.’”

Yikes. Pretty harsh words, but according to JL, it was “just what I needed to hear.” Eventually, she ended things with Casper for good and repaired her relationship with Jamie:

“Our feelings for each other grew over time, and Jamie’s genuine concern and support of my well-being was the catalyst that expanded my love for him. … I think I fell more in love with him because of his love for Maddie. He said that the kind of mother I was made him love me more.”

The fateful ATV incident

Writing about a major turning point in her life – her oldest daughter’s near-fatal ATV accident – she remembered:

“One moment we were sharing in Maddie’s fun, and in the next, life as we knew it came to a screeching halt. We saw the side-by-side make a hard left turn, which caused it to flip off the embankment, and then we saw Maddie disappear beneath the water.”

She and Jamie tried to get the vehicle out of the water themselves, but “after several minutes of effort, debilitating fatigue started to set in and my hopes we could free her began to fade.” When an EMT arrived and rescued Maddie from the water, she wrote:

“She was unconscious, her body distended, face swollen and eerily blue.”

CPR failed, and the EMT ran to take the 8-year-old to the hospital. Jamie Lynn recalled:

“I began clawing my way up the embankment and threw up. I tried to crawl toward the ambulance, but the shock was setting in. I knew what I had just witnessed. My daughter’s lifeless body.”

But when a priest came to perform last rites in the hospital, the momma revealed:

“He anointed her head with oil and when he said, ‘Holy Spirit,’ Maddie began to thrash. Her arms and legs were flailing vigorously. I started to scream. … The staff bustled in and tied Maddie down. They administered a sedative to place her in a medically induced coma to keep her from hurting herself and to allow for further healing.”

Following their miracle, Jamie Spears “took the necessary steps to keep the press at bay, including telling Britney and [brother] Bryan, who desperately wanted to be with us, to stay away.” Maddie recovered slowly, and her memory struggles apparently led her to mistake Jamie Lynn for Carrie Underwood at one point. However, she was luckily able to be released from the hospital in five days.

The momma, who converted to Catholicism after the incident, wrote:

“What Maddie’s accident helped me learn pretty quickly was that professional acceptance and esteem were superficial pursuits. I was reminded that our lives are truly a fragile gift, and I needed to flip my priorities… In the years since Maddie’s miracle, I have truly experienced an awakening of sorts.”

Wow. All these excerpts are a lot to process. What’s your reaction to Things I Should Have Said, Perezcious readers? Will you be picking up a copy for yourself? Let us know your thoughts in the comments (below)!

[Image via ABC/YouTube & Ivan Nikolov/FayesVision/WENN]