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#Best Lines of the Week (May 29-June 4): ‘Offensive & Out of Date, Just Like You’

Best Lines of the Week (May 29-June 4): ‘Offensive & Out of Date, Just Like You’

TV Best Lines Insecure Agents of SHIELD Quiz

HBO/Anne Marie Fox; ABC/Matthias Clamer; AMC/ITV

This week in TV, we laughed with Hasan Minhaj on Patriot Act, Issa Rae on Insecure, and Matt LeBlanc on Man With A Plan. Plus, we heard a hilarious take on the Iowa Primary on Late Night With Seth Meyers.

Investigations began to brew on Jeffrey Epstein: Filthy Rich and Quiz, while Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and Snowpiercer featured intellectual comebacks and witty comments.

See below for some lines on TV this week that stood out.

Snowpiercer Katie McGuinness Josie

TNT/Justina Mintz

Snowpiercer (TNT)

“You’d think, with all we’ve lost, defeat would break us. But the only reason we’re here is because we refuse to die in the first place. We’re as persistent as the cold, forever trapped beneath the ice. We keep our eyes on the floor, dig our nails in, and prepare to brace.”

— Josie (Katie McGuinness), a poor woman who spends her days on the train caring for her ill-stricken husband and her son

Man With A Plan Matt LeBlanc Adam

CBS

Man With A Plan (CBS)

“I’m just gonna take the test now, Arthur. And yes, I WILL be taking the survey after!”

— Adam (Matt LeBlanc) gets forceful with a very rude DMV employee as he prepares to retake the written driver’s exam for the first time in decades.

Late Night With Seth Meyers Host June 3

NBC

Late Night With Seth Meyers (NBC)

“Republican congressman and white supremacist Steve King lost his race in yesterday’s Iowa Primary, which is tough for King, because his race is like his favorite thing.”

– Seth Meyers during his opening monologue for the June 3 Late Night episode

Jeffrey Epstein Filthy Rich Netflix

Netflix

Jeffrey Epstein: Filthy Rich (Netflix)

“We were frustrated that, while some people were cooperative, most victims did not want to prosecute for fear of Jeffrey Epstein.”

– Michael Reiter, the former chief of police of Palm Beach, Florida who led early investigations into Jeffrey Epstein

Sweet Magnolias Heather Headley Helen Decatur

Netflix/Eliza Morse

Sweet Magnolias (Netflix)

“That was the most magnificent thing I’ve seen you do since you ate that lizard in kindergarten.”

— Attorney Helen Decatur (Heather Headley) comforting her client and friend Maddie Townsend (JoAnna Garcia Swisher)

Space Force Steve Carrell Mark Naird

Netflix/Aaron Epstein

Space Force (Netflix)

“Gender roles: offensive and out of date, just like you.”

— Mark Naird (Steve Carell) stands up to his arch-nemesis, Kick Grabaston (Noah Emmerich), after becoming a four-star general.

Patriot Act Hasan Minaj Netflix

Netflix/Cara Howe

Patriot Act (Netflix)

“Not having basketball is turning me into a monster. Last week, I made my babies play one on one, and the loser got written out of my will.”

– Hasan Minhaj talks about his life in quarantine.

Quiz Mark Bonnar Paul Smith

AMC/ITV

Quiz (AMC)

“It’s not a game show. It’s a quiz. That’s the joy of it. People love a good pub quiz. A uniquely British invention, combining our two greatest loves, drinking and being right.”

– Paul (Mark Bonnar) analyzes a game show pitch that he would like to redesign.

Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Jemma Simons Elizabeth Henstridge

ABC/Matthias Clamer

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (ABC)

“I’m a biochemist, not a bird.”

—Agent Jemma Simmons (Elizabeth Henstridge) retaliates against a sexist comment made during their time in 1931 while being the smartest person in the room.

Insecure Issa Rae HBO

HBO/Anne Marie Fox

Insecure (HBO)

“It almost killed me, but I did that s***!”

– Issa (Issa Rae) shares her feelings with Lawrence (Jay Ellis) about the process of independently planning her Los Angeles block party.

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