#90 Day Fiance Recap: Secrets, Lies, and Mail Order Brides!
“#90 Day Fiance Recap: Secrets, Lies, and Mail Order Brides!”
The second part of the 90 Day Fiance Tell-All special brought bickering, lies, and secrets exposed.
Teams formed as some of the stars had each other’s backs and others ripped each other apart.
All of it was peak entertainment for the rest of us.
The truth about Tom and Avery was revealed, Lisa and Usman broke down the nature of their relationship, and Big Ed laid into David.
Also, Cesar dropped in for a guest appearance.
Check out some of the highlights from the second half of the special below!
The Tomcat – RAWR!
The dashing and debonair Tom is what happens when a hound dog and a tomcat have a snarky British man with no chill. We jumped right into the certified grade-A beef between Tom and Avery, and it’s a result of him hitting on her.
Tom slid all up in Avery’s DM’s in a casual attempt to slip into something else, and Avery claimed she wasn’t into it. Whose to say with Avery? She’s a magnet for playboys.
But Tom is a wild flirt because apparently, he tried to hit on Stephanie too. Three for three and his taste is questionable. It needs to be said.
Ash is NOT a Pathological Liar (Narrator Voice: She’s Lying. He totally Is)
Tom is shameless, but he has some scruples. He hit up Ash to make sure Avery and Ash were over. And Ash was the one who orchestrated the animosity between Tom and Avery. Because Ash lied about some screenshots and pinned it on Tom.
Ash lying? Who’d have thunk it?
Lisa is About that Tom Life
When asked to choose her player, Lisa was 100% Team Tom, even though he went out of his way to use her to prove a point that he wasn’t down to f**k every woman he compliments or asks to dinner.
Tom Apology Tour
Tom apologized to Darcey again, and what are we making of this?
Does Tom give a damn about Darcey, or is he only in it for the 90 Day Fiance Notoriety?
He’s a conundrum.
MVV (Most Valuable Villain)
Say you what you will about this dude who took leave only to return smoking a cigarette, dramatic AF, but Tom is a damn good villain.
He’s witty, equal parts sleazy and charming, and hilarious.
Let’s give it up to Tom for putting in that work.
He’ll have his own special by Autumn.
It’s a mark of a damn good marriage when both spouses have each other blocked on all social media accounts, am I right? And I thought blocking family members was bad.
Prayer circle for Usman if he ever wants an answer to any of his questions when Lisa is anywhere in the vicinity.
The power struggle between Usman and Lisa continues where she accuses him of being controlling AF all the while, yes, you guessed it, she’s controlling AF.
I haven’t watched someone get steamrolled that bad since Saturday mornings watching Looney Tunes, which isn’t entirely different than this, let’s be real.
The Goat and some Bull (sh*t)
Shoutout to Lisa and Ed calling each other various farm animals because it would be rude as hell if the rest of us did it. You can say there isn’t love lost between these two, but it’s pure entertainment watching the pair of them drag the hell out of each other.
Is Ed trash? Yes. Was he right when he described Lisa as a bull in a china shop? Also, yes.
Big Ed was trying to give Tom a run for his money. And Lisa doesn’t give a solitary damn. You love to see it.
Baby Love Be Hating
Usman spilled the beans that Lisa’s tongue game is vicious (no, not that tongue game, pervs), and that she calls him every name in the book when they fight.
It’s not surprising.
Do we want to know what she calls him? Yeah, probably not. Cancel Culture is real, and Lisa is already on thin ice.
Usman is all about his music career and his business, and if that means befriending a pornstar for clout and exposure (no, not THAT exposure) then so be it.
Somehow Lisa is well-versed in Yahoo Boys, but she has no fundamental understanding of how social influencing and fans work.
Prayer circle for any of you who leaves a heart on Usman’s Insta, Lisa might cut a bitch.
If Usman isn’t planning on moving to the States, and Lisa is playing coy about moving to Nigeria, then why the hell did they get married? Anyone?
Usman said he isn’t about that American life, and he has no interest in stepping foot in the States, and hell, can you blame him these days? The odds are better in his favor over there.
But Lisa hasn’t hidden the fact that she lowkey hates Nigeria, so we know good and damn well she isn’t leaving ‘Murica. Whew, the mess — THE MESS.
In news surprising NO ONE, Lana and David aren’t together-ish, but also are? And she’s still on her websites for reasons that aren’t squeezing money out of old, moderately wealthy white dudes.
The group acknowledged that they were proven wrong since everyone in America thought Lana didn’t exist. To which I say, but were we, though?
Yolanda, Calling David Out on Being an Idiot? Ma’am, Hush!
The gang of people who decided to gang up on David and tell him that Lana is bamboozling him is a mile long. Tom lowkey suggested that he check out the website and hit Lana up to see if she’ll start talking to him.
Sure, Tom. We know you were serious.
But the real kicker was Yolanda lecturing David on his naivete. She accused David of being in Denial like she isn’t the actual Queen of that river. Pot meet kettle, madam. Have several seats.
Secrets, Lies, and Mail-Order Brides
Oh, David is DUMB, dumb! Apparently, there are layers to David’s stupidity, and he’s worse off than we ever could have imagined.
David is a quarter of a million dollars deep into “befriending” Russian women and giving them money.
The guy has been to Ukraine over 20 times, and for some reason still can’t speak a lick of Russian/Ukrainian.
And he also is on some mail list for mail order brides?
Bloody Jeffery Epstein, I’m not entirely unsure David isn’t inadvertently linked to a sex ring somewhere.
The Trifecta of Gullibility
Cesar, bless his wee heart, was invited to join the chat, and, he, David, and Yolanda all share one brain-cell, and only he was allowed a turn with it.
Stephanie’s Mother Married Her Father for a Green-Card
Somehow, Stephanie revealed this tidbit when everyone was expressing their concern and frustration with David, and suddenly, everything we know about Stephanie makes sense.
Ed’s Dog Stole the Show
Ed tried his damndest to dominate the spotlight, but he was outshined by that fluffy ball of fuzz and fur.
GIVE ED’S DOG A SPINOFF, DAMMIT!
Over to you, 90 Day Fiance Fanatics. What did you think of the second half of the tell-all special? Did you love that surprise appearance by Cesar? Did you miss Geoffrey and Varya? Hit the comments below!
Jasmine Blu is a senior staff writer for TV Fanatic. Follow her on Twitter.
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